Sermons

"It's a Matter of Trust"

Delivered from the Pulpit of First Congregational Church of Anchorage by Elisabeth A. Kachline on June 21, 2009

Today we celebrate what I believe is an ignored holiday -- Father's Day.  Most of the celebration can be found in the store ads leading up to Father's Day.  New lawn mower, tools, fishing gear, ties, and other products viewed as gifts for men.  Church is headed into summer vacation, members have started driving to the fishing holes and camp grounds, the choir is on holiday for three months, and today is generally just another summer Sunday. 

Well, today I want to give my perspective and reflection on this day to challenge the commercialized notion of Father's Day.  

Historically Father's Day began in 1910 as a result of a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.  Mrs. John Dodd (Sonora Smart) of Spokane, Washington, and her 5 siblings, had been raised by their father after their mother died.  To her, he had made all the parental sacrifices and was a courageous, selfless, and loving man.  Her father's birthday was in June so she chose June 1910 for the 1st father's day in Spokane, Washington.  In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge proclaimed the 3rd Sunday in June as Father's Day.  Roses were designated as flowers appropriate for the day - red for living, white for deceased.  In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson, through Presidential Proclamation, recognized Father's Day and in 1972 the 3rd Sunday in June was designated as a permanent national observance. 

Traditionally we think of Father's Day as a day to honor and express our love for our birth fathers.  Daddy was my best friend.  I knew his love was unconditional, I could trust he would always stand by me whatever I did, and I knew his words were loving, honest and true.  His words were respected, not feared.  I knew he had high expectations for each member of the family.  We were individuals within the family and treated so.  I could use my father as an excuse to my friends -- "Daddy, won't let me go."  I also knew that Daddy meant what he said.  When he drove two classmates and me "down-the-shore" (Ocean City, New Jersey) after high school graduation he said that if I was picked up for under aged drinking he would come and get me when he was good and ready.  Yes, the temptation was there and we almost went to the beach party.  But, I knew what Daddy would do and we didn't go.  Everyone who went was picked up.  I don't know how long Daddy would have made me sit in jail, but I am certain that it would have been at his convenience when he drove down to get me.  I knew that I could always trust my father's words, actions, and love.  Daddy, I celebrate you.  Thank you for being a trusting, caring and loving parent and friend. 

I met Harry's father the week before he unexpectedly died so I only know of his love for his sons and wife through Harry and through family stories, photographs, and movies.  A year later, when Harry and I married, my father was just as accepting of Harry as his birth children.  For the next 28 years Harry and my father had a wonderful relationship - honesty, respect, friendship, and trust. 

When we were expecting our son, Robert, we had hopes and dreams.  I had ideas of life similar to "Father Knows Best."  Husband works; mother stays home and raises the children; house in the suburbs; and a station wagon in the driveway.  Very much like my childhood.  Harry was in the service, and I also had dreams of our being able to travel and do exciting things around the world.  Well, military life was okay, albeit Harry was TDY more than he was home.  But, Robert being autistic changed the dreams of travel and adventure.  Autism changed my preconceived idea of parenting and the bells and whistles of "normal" life.  Autism changed ideas of parenting for Harry as well.  We had the role models of caring parents, but we had no modeling of raising a special needs child in a world that was not yet ready to give recognition to special needs.  Harry and I had to trust each other as we developed our new identity with mutual acceptance of who we are and how we would parent together to help our son to meet his fullest potential. 

Ellen's was born 22 months later.  Within two years Ellen passed Robert in all capabilities - reading, singing, and playing.  An academically precocious child presents a different set of challenges.  Ellen knew trust and unconditional love from Harry.  They had a never-ending friendship - daughter to Daddy, adult-to-adult.  As she grew up she introduced Harry to authors such as C.S. Lewis and Madeline L'Engle.  They became academic peers and enjoyed each other's company.  On June 12th Ellen suddenly passed away.  Our hearts have a giant hole today.  But we feel confident that we have met the parenting challenges of raising two children that knew their parents could be trusted, treated others with respect, acted with honesty, as well as unconditional love for them and each other. 

Harry has been a wonderful father to his children.  He has encouraged each of them and accepted their unique personalities and capabilities.  He has openly demonstrated his love and concern for them.  He has fully embraced their successes and challenges - shared in joys and tears, Special Olympics endeavors, the study of karate, soccer games in the rain, three of us in college at the same time, Ellen's chemotherapy treatment for two years, in our daughter's wedding, and in becoming a father role model to our son-in-law Tony. 

Harry, I celebrate you - my best friend, my husband, loving father of our children, and role model of trust, compassion and caring for others.

Father's Day is also the time to look beyond "our own family" and honor men who have brought joy and happiness into our lives.  Many of us have father figures in our lives - stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, "Big Brothers," and other men who model by their actions and words and help shape our lives.  We have looked up to and respected these individuals.  We should also use this day to let these special men in our lives know what influence they have had on us. 

I celebrate all our role models, their influences of unconditional caring in their words and actions and trust.  Some have been fathers in their own right, yet through their words and actions they are fathers to a larger community.  

It is through strong male role models in my life that my faith in God has been a relatively easy path.  My father taught me that I could trust him.  It is therefore easy to believe in and trust God in all things.  When my father passed away I said that I now had two fathers in heaven. 

I encourage you to use this day to celebrate the men in your life who have been a role model and symbol of trust to you.  Say the words "I love you" to those special in your life and say it often. 

Amen